Riding for a Cure

Tomorrow morning I will be riding my bike 153 miles in The Pan Mass Challenge to raise money for The Jimmy Fund and The Dana Farber Cancer Institute.  I wanted you ladies to know that you will all be in my heart as I ride as well as all those on this site who we have lost to this awful disease.  The PMC here in Massachusetts is one of the biggest fund raisers around and 100% of the donated money goes directly to Dana Farber.

A few weeks ago I got to ride my bike onto Fenway Park field before a crowd of 30,000 Red Sox fans with 29 other cancer survivors to celebrate the PMC’s 30th anniversary.  It was an amazing experience. PMC Night at Fenway.

To say I am nervous about riding in my first PMC this weekend may well be an understatement.

 During the last few months of our training, Susan and I have been out on rides that last 5-6 hours long leaving  a lot of free time to contemplate the unknown;  and so often when our minds are left to their own devices, they settle on the worst case scenarios. I worry about so many things like my gears which have not been working correctly since the triathlon.  I worry that Susan and I haven’t trained long enough or hard enough.  I worry that Susan will be so far ahead of me that I won’t find her at the water stops or she will make new better, faster, biking friends to ride with because I will be so slow.  I worry that my Achilles tendinitis will act up and my left ankle will burn so badly that I will not be able to pedal.

When I look at pictures of past PMC’s the sheer number of riders terrifies me.  I fear claustrophobia and the great possibility of tumbling head over handlebars into the bike mere centimeters in front of me.  I can only hope everyone will eventually pass me, leaving me to chug along at my own pace.  I imagine riding into Bourne at nightfall, the last biker to finish, everyone else fast asleep.

I worry that I will not be able to get up after sleeping in a tent and pedal 65 miles home on Sunday. Or that I will drink too many celebratory beers on Saturday night and miss the 4:40 am wake-up call.

All this worry is of course irrational. Realistically I know that this will be the most amazing journey.  I know that it will be fun and exhilarating and everything will work out.  I know that if it rains –I have a raincoat, and if I get a flat — someone will be there to change it. I just have to keep reminding myself why I am doing this.

 I am doing this because after battling cancer and treatment this past year,  I needed a greater challenge to prove that my body was strong enough to endure a 153 mile bike ride and at the same time raise a boatload of money for the institute that saved my life as well as my spirit.

The money that all my amazing friends and family have given to me to make this ride will go to fund future research and targeted therapies for children and adults with cancer.  This money actually is used to fund experimental research that might otherwise not be funded by government agencies.  And it is these out-of-the-box thinkers that have come up with some of our most needed and helpful treatments.

There is no single cure for cancer.  Instead there are various forms of cancer and within each type of cancer there are many sub-sets –each needing it’s own treatment.  Finding the cure(s) for cancer is an on-going battle that needs on-going funds.  The Pan Mass challenge supplies those on-going funds every year.  This is why I am riding in the PMC.  I am proud to be a part of something so very important and I will remember that this weekend when fear and worry begin to creep into my psyche.  I will remember those we have lost but I will also remember how many are now being saved, myself included, because of the amazing and powerful work being done at Dana-Farber — work that is fueled by the PMC.

found: a good home for a fake boob

A few weeks ago, I wrote that I had an almost new prosthesis that I was seeking to re-home. This is what happened next:

Julia consulted other directors of Breast Cancer Action, who suggested that there might be a program to send prostheses to developing countries. She also called the social worker at the cancer centre who told her that Canadian Cancer Society takes donations (1745 Woodward Dr., Ottawa, ON K2C 0P9. 613-723-1744). I am so grateful to her for doing this.

Throws Like A Girl , who is part of our group at Mothers With Cancer, suggested that we need “a prosthesis relocation program.”

Imstell jumped in with the following:

“Maybe we [Mothers With Cancer] could just host a bulletin board where people could post their needs:

FREE TO GOOD HOME Single 36C teardrop prosthesis. Likes to travel. You pay shipping.

WANTED swimming prosthesis. Any size large enough to hide my belly.

These had me laughing out loud but I think we might actually get something like this going.

Finally, Christine told me that she has a friend who lives locally, who was in need of a new prosthesis. It turned out to be a perfect fit.

Thanks to all who commented here, via email and on Facebook. You made me laugh. And you made me feel good about the power of community.

Laurie also blogs at Not Just About Cancer.

Help if you are able…

I have been following artist Kelly Rae Roberts since the fall of 2006. When I clicked on her blog today, her Friday July 24^th post hit a little too close to home for me and probably for all of us on this site.

Her post is about a young woman, Megan who is battling Stage IV breast cancer.Blue Shield of CA has denied her life-saving treatments.

Please visit to her blog and send positive thoughts… Megans Circle

If you feel so inclined to donate to her fund… ChipIn

If you care to read her story that was featured on President Obama’s Healthcare Stories for America page…Megan – Altadena,CA

Cancer and insurance companies just make me so sad and angry…

Dance for Breast Cancer

I didn’t happen to see this last night on So You Think You Can Dance but thought it was interesting.  At first I thought…..”oh no, two youngsters trying to re-enact being diagnosed with breast cancer as a dance.”   Like they even BEGIN to know what that’s like!  But you know, it was tender and sweet, and angry and bitter all at the same time and I was drawn their portrayal.  She may not know what it’s liked to be diagnosed but she sure put her whole self in to it.  What is even more touching is the responses from the judges.

Watch it and tell me whatcha think, especially if you’ve been through this dance.

Melissa and Ade dance for Breast Cancer on So You Think You Can Dance.

The thoughts that didn’t make it to facebook…..

Here are all the thoughts I have today that I could post on facebook but haven’t (aren’t you glad):

1.  What sort of magnetism does Dora have over a 2 year old?  My son would watch Dora movies and read Dora books 24/7 if I would let him.

2.  Fried Zucchini, zucchini muffins, vegi-enchiladas with guess what…..zucchini, copy-cat olive garden minestrone soup….with zucchini.  What’s next….chocolate cake with zucchini?  Would something else PLEASE ripen in my garden!

3.  Charis is gone to camp this week and I have forgotten how AMAZINGLY quiet it is with only two children.  Only half the fighting.  It’s been a nice break (even though I miss her!).

4.  What is it about feeling a little under the weather that makes me “smell” chemo.  Is that weird or what?  I have smelled chemo several times today.  Like the Kashi bars I opened for my kids this morning…..I got a huge whiff of chemo…..because that’s all they ate for breakfast when I was sick after chemo I guess.  And then when we walked to the park.  I swear the park smelled like chemo.  I suppose this is like the first trimester of pregnancy.  There are things we will never eat again thanks to pregnancy nausea.  I don’t like the “smell” of chemo.  Brings back too many bad memories.