good news/bad news (by Judy)

I had an appointment with my oncologist on Fri. The bad news: they think the spots on my lung are cancer, and there are a few spots on my bones so she’s ordering a bone scan. Also, the tumors that were already in my liver are bigger and there are more there.

The good news: she was very positive about treatment options and said, once again, that she has “an arsenal” of treatments for me. She’s very hopeful which doesn’t take away all my emotional pain right now, but it does help.

I’m getting a second opinion and talked that over with her. She’s fine with that, and her secretary/receptionist already set that up for July 14.

I won’t lie; this is hard, very hard. I’m coping, but things are just difficult right now and I’m downright scared.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers. I appreciate it so much.

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Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.

clarification, and more info (by Judy)

First, a clarification — the areas on my lung are TINY spots, and they don’t know if it’s cancer or scar tissue and they’re too small to be tested. My oncologist isn’t worried about the lungs, but is concerned about the progression of the cancer in my liver. She’s going to start me on Xeloda and Tykerb — 2 chemo pills.

At the same time, I’m going to get a second opinion. I have a few names of oncologists that have worked with IBC and come highly recommended. So I’m going to talk to my oncologist tomorrow about all of this and hope she can expedite the process of getting an appointment with whoever I see.
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Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.

bad news (by Judy)

I had a CT Scan last Tues., June 14. I FINALLY got the results today (my oncologist was on vacation last week), and it’s not good. There is “progression” in the cancer in the liver, the phone nurse said. What that means is that the tumors have grown. Also, they now see cancer in my lungs. I don’t know exactly what, the sizes of tumors, etc. My oncologist will call me tonight to discuss this with me; I also have an appointment with her on Friday. According to the nurse, Dr. Funky Glasses isn’t sure where to go from here.

I am, understandably, devastated.
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Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.

Survivor! (by Judy)

This is what the face of a cancer survivor looks like.

According to the article “Cancer Survivor” in Wikipedia:

A cancer survivor is an individual with cancer of any type, current or past, who is still living. About 11 million Americans alive today—one in 30 people–are either currently undergoing treatment for cancer or have done so in the past.”[1]

I have to stop thinking of myself as a cancer patient and start thinking of myself as a cancer survivor.

I AM surviving. I’m living my life, though it’s a different life than I would have if I didn’t have cancer. I’m still working except for “treatment days” or days I don’t feel well enough to work. Thankfully, since my chemo changed to Navelbine and Herceptin mid-Feb., I feel better than I did with the previous chemotherapy cocktail (Taxol, Carboplatin, and Herceptin). Tomorrow I have a CT Scan which will show if/how much the new protocol is working. I’m nervous, yes, but I hope and pray the Navelbine and Herceptin are doing their jobs and shrinking the tumors in my liver.

But I’m surviving. I’m went on a wonderful vacation with my family. I get up and bathe every day. I’m not typically depressed. Sometimes the ongoing treatments wear me down physically, emotionally, and mentally . . . but I tend to pick myself up at some point.

I go to church whenever I can. I keep touch with friends whether via FaceBook, email, text, phone, or in-person. I still have thank you cards to write from my April 16 fundraiser. I don’t get much housework done because I’m exhausted from my days at work, but that can wait. That will always be there . . . unfortunately.

I laugh. I cry. I think, ponder. I do what I can do with the energy that I have.

I’m a Survivor. I’m Surviving with cancer. I’m Living with cancer. It’s still there, but I’m trying to Live with it in my life as well as I can. Sometimes I feel like I fall short, but that could be because I just can’t do as much as I used to. Cancer is certainly a way of stripping out the extraneous stuff in your life and getting down to basics.

But I’m surviving, and I’ll be surviving until I’m no longer here.

That’s the face of a Survivor, folks.

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Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.

I’m doing this for me (by Judy)

I haven’t been interested in cancer and/or breast cancer walks or huge fundraisers, largely because I’ve wondered what difference they really make in the fight against breast cancer.

However, I’ve just signed up to be a team leader for the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. The name of my team is: Jude’s Crew.

One of the volunteers at the Little Pink Houses of Hope retreat talked to me about how life-affirming and uplifting these types of walks are. She also said that it would be a good thing to do with Energy Boy.

That’s all it took. Now I want to do this for me, for EB, and for whoever it may help. But I mostly want to do this for me.

If you happen to live around me and would like to join me, please do so. You can link to my team’s page at the above link. Or if you’d like to donate something to my team, that would be welcome too, of course. It doesn’t have to be much; every little bit helps.

So I’m doing this. For me.
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Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.