count down to 2 years of chemo

September 1, 2008
sunrise balloon

sunrise balloon

September 14Th is my second anniversary of Life Long Chemotherapy. It is also my one year Anniversary of my blog. I have been thinking about gifts for the “girls” at the outpatient treatment wing.  The nurses have become quite attached to me and I am grateful for their interest in the development of my little one. Last year I gave them all a tea cup and saucer with a card in it reading… thanks for the care. I feel I need to buy something that lives. small plant or flowering bush for all 14 staff.

Time for me to hunt down a thank you for everything gift. Any suggestions? I’ve got 7 days or 13 if I show up on the exact day, which is not my chemo day.

Indoor cherry tomato plants, cactus, miniture rose bush? time for some shopping


cancer survivor wins a gold medal in swimming

August 26, 2008

Yes, it is true a dutch man wins Gold, but also wins battle over cancer (lukemia), which in my mind is much more important.


While waiting for my chemo

August 11, 2008

I waited and waited over an hour past my official appointment time until my labs came back.  I was glad to see the doc but shamed that I had to tell her I fell off my bike.  She shook her head and could not believe I was biking in such strong winds. She even took a careful walk instead of getting on her own bike yesterday.  I was just grateful she did not ban me from my only mode of transportation, my bike.  We have been having such a good vacation that I could not worry that it took close to 5 hours to finish a 1-2 hour normal treatment. I asked my loving hubby to go to the news stand and buy me a search a word puzzle book in Dutch of course,  I pretended to still be on the beach and puzzled the afternoon away, no sense in complaining.

I was not even jealous of the lady next to me getting a full facial. I have only 3 days and I’m back to the beach house knowing my numbers are 92 and 14. I think I will even have a sangria when I get to the sandloper restaurant on the beach as a celebration. 

I did use my cancer no card for  the Amsterdam Parade. I would have to shake too many hands and have to explain my thin curly hair to too many outsiders.


Cancer info-booth outside the outpatient cancer department

July 14, 2008

As a curious soul I entered a luxuriously mahogany wooded booth with two functioning computers with all the favorites hit in for cancer patients. I asked the women behind and office looking inner room what was the meaning of all this anyway. You see I have a nanny who might want to know exactly what is happening to me, and a 3 year old who might need a bit of explanation now that she is asking questions, and acting as if she is dead and saying “I am dead”. I have been rather freaked out by her comment about death, so was I in the right place?

I got shuffled off to a summary in English that she gladly printed out for my Au-pair and said she would make further contact via e-mail as soon as possible, or whenever her colleague returned from the lunch break. She her self seemed quite flustered, maybe because I was her first “customer” with a demand.

I went back into the department where I get outpatient care, and explained that I did not want a book about kids with cancer, or a free backpack, but a book about why mommy has cancer. I dumb founded the nurse who was also new, and eager to help. I took the pamphlet anyway to make her feel better, but it really was not what I was after. ( In fact NO I don’t want to scare the living daylights out of my daughter, she is already empathizing with my pains and now itchy skin telling me she has it too.)

I don’t need to reinforce that she too could at this very moment have cancer by giving her a book meant for children with cancer. God help me if she has cancer too at such a young age it would destroy my psychological well being.

My child needs a picture book in cartoon form of her mommy getting medicine in a tube from a doctor. She does not need to understand what cancer cells are and what chemo does. Just a book about the process of what does Mommy do when she goes to the hospital for the day. Does she get time to talk to the doctor and nurses or do puzzles like she gets to do in the play area?

Gals, I think it is time to think of themes and I’ll get back to doing some sketching and making storyboards. I found a cheap ringed watercolor paper when I have finalized the ideas. If a book is not provided for me in the next 3 weeks, I will make my own, thank you very much. I have made other home made books about how the wedding for my brother was going to be, I can make one about a subject I am also very familiar with. Any takers on subjects or simple analogies for a 3 year old? Let’s hear them!


Rushed back for a birthday party

July 6, 2008

My little 3yr Old was invited to two birthday parties in one week. Now that it is the end of school kids with summer birthday’s are trying to get them over with before the vacation period gets in full swing.

I had to refuse one because it was a chemo day. But we did buy a gift and gave it to his Daddy on the last day of school. We did make the second party that had a Dora theme. Everything was Dora, the cake with  the plates, napkins the table cloth and balloons…

more later. I just heard my little one waking. no diapers got to run!


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