Acceptance

Because posting is closed on The Road to OK

Jill, I absolutely, positively, completely understand. No matter how much I like the new Girls – even if they don’t have nipples of their own yet – they are by no means as near and dear to my heart as the originals. The originals were large and a bit on the longish side post kids (we lovingly referred to that time as the Tube Sock Years) and they didn’t fit well into many clothes, but they were all mine and they suited me.

The very best thing about the new Girls is that one is made from my belly and as such bears the stretch marks from carrying my precious boys through pregnancy. I love it that those self-same marks are now much closer to my heart where they belong.

It’s hard to know how to “accept” the things in our lives. There really are no Cliff Notes on the subject. I guess I’ve done pretty well with most of it. But there are large chunks of “stuff” still floating around in my subconscious that come out when I least expect them. I am still pretty tit-centric myself. So I’m guessing I miss the originals much more than I’m willing to admit. Besides, what can I do about it?

Perhaps that is the secret to coping and accepting… Realizing there is nothing you can do to change the facts and making the best of a sucky situation. Honestly, I think that’s what most of life is about. Fake it till you make it!

Stella

BTW, I’m blown away by the quality of writing from these women also… And you are one of those with incredible talent. Don’t let differing opinions or being in a “different place” than others deter you. Every voice here represents other women out there who aren’t speaking yet.

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6 Responses to Acceptance

  1. Laurie says:

    Bravo! and Amen! Love the bit about your stretch marks and your heart, and and the point you make about how we each have something of value to offer, no matter how are experiences or perceptions differ.

  2. Jill Aldrich says:

    The tube sock years… that made me laugh out loud 🙂 And I was so touched by your comment about the new breast bearing the stretch marks of your children. That”s a lovely way to find acceptance.

    You know, I have to say that I’ve accepted most of my two-year experience with grace. And I’m incredibly proud of that. But I astill am caught off guard sometimes by these intermittent waves of sadness, or hurt, or fear. What to do about it? Just go with it. I think by allowing myself to really feel these things completely is the key to letting them go. The more I can sit with them, the less power they seem to have.

    Until then, fake it till you make it is fabulous advice.

    PS: Posting is closed on the Road to Ok? Did I not post correctly?

  3. imstell says:

    Jill, looks like if there was an issue it’s fixed now. And you are very wise to allow yourself time with your feelings – positive or negative. Working through it is truly the key. Quite often I find myself glossing over my feelings because it may be inconvenient or uncomfortable to deal with them at the time. It always bites me in the end.

    Laurie, I have to believe there is value in every opinion. If anything, I feel oddly out of place here sometimes. Chemo is quickly becoming a distant memory (thank You, Lord) and I am not metastatic (double thanks for that one) . So sometimes I struggle for a voice.

    Stella

  4. cancervisa says:

    I thought I was the only one blown away by such beautiful writers. Really glad to be in this club, I am humble and honored.

  5. […] little community. Today’s post was provoked into being by Jill Aldrich’s post “The Road to OK” and imstell (Stella)’s response, […]

  6. “Fake it , ’till you make it” — Love it!!

    It’s like the happy mask we wear, so that we can become that happy person (instead of crawling under our covers and never coming out)

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