It looks suspicious

I keep thinking that I’m ready to move beyond cancer, to seize the day, to do so many of the things on my list that piled up this year that I spent in bed. And then, out of nowhere, I’m blindsided by a latent side effect, a new medication, a complication.

This week, it’s ovarian cysts. I have two, you see, nestled side-by-side like twins on my ovary, 4 and 5 cm across. The one, we found out today, is a simple cyst and may resolve on its own. The other is a segmented cyst, which the doctor says could be anything. It could be nothing, or it could be a problem.

Of course, with my history, a problem is a big problem. So today he took blood for the Ca-125 test and a new screening panel for ovarian cancer. Tomorrow I call about the gene test (for BRCA-1 and BRCA-2, since they are the link between the increased rate of ovarian cancers in breast cancer patients and vice versa), and then next week we decide whether to take my ovaries out.

Whether in anticipation or reaction, we will probably decide to take my ovaries out.

I had hoped to avoid this decision for a little longer, to give my body a chance to heal, to recover. To have a carefree summer with my kids.

But we don’t always get what we want, do we? If this works, it will give me more summers with my kids, so it’s worth it no matter what. It’s a wake up call — but I really thought I was awake already.

Everything’s been a little mixed up since I heard those words from my GYN this morning as he gave me the results of my ultrasound:

It looks suspicious.

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15 Responses to It looks suspicious

  1. imstell says:

    Ugh, Susan… I am sorry your saga hasn’t ended yet. When will you get the results? If it is any consolation, the ooferectomy was fairly easy. I’m surprised to hear you haven’t already done the genetic testing. I thought it was pretty standard for such early breast cancer.

    I’ll be thinking happy “negative” thoughts. Keep the faith. Hugs.

  2. I had the genetic testing and was negative, but I still opted to remove the ovaries for the estrogen. I had the ovaries done at the same time as the implant switch. 3 tiny incisions and a couple days of discomfort.
    Hopefully BlogHer will take your mind off everything until next week.

  3. mod*mom says:

    i’m sending you positive healing energy susan! the brca test is nervwracking because of the possible negative consequences, including insurance companies not wanting to cover you, but it’s much better to know what you’re dealing with. i luckily tested negative,. so it was good i was tested + i know it doesn’t mean i won’t get ovarian cancer anyway, but i like as much information as possible to make my decisions + i’m guessing you do too.

  4. throwslikeagirl74 says:

    Double ugh. Sending lots of b9 thoughts your way. Hugs.

  5. Laurie says:

    I am sorry it’s all been so f*cking relentless. I wish you nothing but negative results and many, many more summers with your babies.
    And I am so looking forward to meeting you in SF! Are you going to the Speakers’ training and reception on Thursday?

  6. jillaldrich says:

    Rats. I’ll echo the women here and wish you nothing but negativity 🙂 I’m with you on this one, Susan. Just had a uterine biopsy yesterday and am awaiting the results. And I thought I’d had my last biopsy…

    As you’ve discovered, I mistakenly thought Blogher was last week. D’oh! I’d still like to meet up with you, but I have company coming into town on Friday. May be a little tight, but I’ll still try to make Sunday brunch. Would love to meet Laurie, too…!

  7. […] a new post of mine up at Mothers With Cancer talking about the cysts that were found on my CT scan last week. We don’t yet have a […]

  8. […] Blog, Mothers With Cancer, and Review Planet. Guess which one made the business card? I’m waiting for test results again, which makes me a little nervous, but I’m really looking forward to getting away this weekend […]

  9. catnip35 says:

    I’m very sorry to hear that. I’ll be thinking about you and hoping for the best – there’s no diagnosis yet! We’ll all be here for you, as much as you need the support – you know that.

  10. tori says:

    Oh I am so sorry to read this. I had an ovarian cancer scare which thankfully turned out not to be cancer. Either way I had an ovary taken out, and then eventually a hysterectomy. I know you are strong and can get through this, but I am really sorry you have to! That Ca-125 test really stressed me out. Mine came back that it was cancer, but it turned out not to be. I was told there is a high rate of false positives. I will think good thoughts for you and if there is anything I can do for real to help, please let me know!

  11. deb says:

    You can have your ovaries removed by laparoscopy, if need be. It’s much easier on the body and easier to get over. No big incisions. I had two stitches I think, just above my pubic hair. I was back up racewalking in ten days. Hope all is well though.

  12. NYfriend says:

    Big hugs, I hope you get good news quickly.

  13. whymommy says:

    Thanks, all … we’ll make it! Although if you’ve got any good info to recommend about oopherectomies, I’m all ears….

  14. Stimey says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. My fingers (and toes) are crossed for you.

  15. When I did the BRCA tests, I was unsure what I’d do about my breasts, in the event that I was positive, but I knew that I’d have my ovaries out.

    In the end, I was BRCA negative, despite my strong family history. However, since I had already psyched myself to have my ovaries removed, I thought I would just do it anyway. My doctors persuaded me that it was really unnecessary, give then I was BRCA negative (I’m also ER/PR negative). So, at least I was spared the side affects….

    Meanwhile, my CA-125 markers are up (no one knows why) and there is some sort of growth next to one of my ovaries, where I had an ectopic pregnancy/miscarriage (just months before my diagnosis of mets).

    In another month, I will do yet another ultrasound and revisit both my gynocologist and my new gyno-oncologist.

    I wish life were a little duller.

    Hoping that you receive very boring and unexciting news….

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