Port Removal

I get my port out today.  I’m not sure how I feel about it.  On one hand, it means my very cautious oncologist is pretty darn sure I’m not going to need more chemo.  (Yay!)  On the other hand, I read people’s posts in my treatment group over at YSC and they wait weeks, months, even up to a year before it’s taken out.  I alternately feel very lucky or very reckless.  I’m only two weeks out of chemo.  Granted it was kick a**dose dense chemo with Avastin, but still I’m not very far out.  I still have radiation and years of Tamoxifen to look forward to, so it’s not like I won’t still be “fighting” cancer.  I guess I’m just getting a taste of that helplessness that many survivors talk about post treatment.  When you’re infused with toxic drugs every week, you feel like you are doing something proactive.  When you’re not, it’s easy to think “I’m giving it a chance to grow back.”  Ugh.  I think I hate what cancer has done to my mind most of all.


9 Responses to Port Removal

  1. bcjenster says:

    I think I hate what cancer has done to my mind most of all.

    Very well said.

    Embrace the lack of port and see it as only a good thing! It’s a very good sign. :o)

  2. Alabamapink says:

    I’ve become unnaturally attached to my double Hickman line, despite the fact that it looks all weird under my clothing (Basically two long tubes that run over my boob. So hot.). I know that some day down the road it will be taken out and that will mean good things, but I’m so used to a needle-free blood draw and no IV line in my arm for chemo. I don’t want to go back to being stuck!

  3. Sarah S. says:

    I am getting my port out in the next week or so. I can’t wait! How did it go?

  4. throwslikeagirl74 says:

    It was pretty easy actually. It hurts but not any more than anything else has this year. They gave me anti anxiety meds and a local anesthesia. Done in about a half an hour. Love my surgeon, we swapped knitting stories while I was in recovery. I’m looking forward to not having to favor that side. It’s J’s favorite place to lay his head.

  5. whymommy says:

    Yes. It is so strange, finishing chemo. Or that wait between surgery and radiation, for those of us who went from chemo to surgery. Or the time after radiation but before the first clean scans…

    There is so much waiting, and it’s not easy. I’m glad you’ll have one less thing to deal with.

    Can we celebrate?

  6. imstell says:

    Congratulations on one more step towards normalcy. It is a very strange feeling, though. It’s like performing without a net.

  7. librarygoddess24 says:

    I just got my port out today. I don’t know how I feel about it either. I waited 6 months to do it. My oncologist seems to be ok with it. I have a bit of pain around the site, but ibuprofen will take care of it.

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