Too Much Info

Now that I have my “fakes” and I see friends I don’t know what to say.  I feel like I need to tell them they’re not real.  People who know I was going to be having surgery look at my breasts confusingly.  Or maybe I think they do.  So I tell them they aren’t real.   I struggle with the whole “too much info.”

When I didn’t have my “fakes” yet and I would be out I would feel like I needed to tell people I just had surgery because I am so flat.  I feel like I’m so flat it must be scarry….lol!  Like I look grossly disfigured.  I’m not…..but it feels that was since I’m used to having size C breasts haning in front of me. 

I hope I won’t need to justify my breasts the rest of my life.  Hopefully when I have reconstruction and someone I haven’t seen for a while comes up to me I won’t have to say…..”they aren’t real…..but their mine!”


5 Responses to Too Much Info

  1. imstell says:

    LOL. I’ve struggled with the TMI issue my entire life. I am probably not the best one to give advice on this topic, but I’ll share my own theory anyway.

    You are the only one who can determine how much info is appropriate. And I believe that level will change from friend to friend – hell, even from day to day.

    I most always answer a question if asked. I volunteer a lot of information. My first day back to work I didn’t want to deal with everyone staring at my chest or wondering. So I broke the ice by asking everyone around the water cooler if they wanted to see my boob. You can imagine that got their attention. So I took out my fake and tossed it to the closest guy. That audacious move answered their unasked questions and relieved the discomfort I felt in that.

    But I’m all about removing the mystique of breast cancer.

  2. Jenster says:

    I’m all about TMI as well. I mean, I don’t tell perfect strangers my boobs aren’t real, but for some reason the fact that my breasts used to be my belly makes it into my conversations rather regularly.

  3. imstell says:

    Jenster – Isn’t it funny how often that comes up? I can’t believe I spent 39 years before my surgery never having a conversation that included bellies as boobs. Simply amazing. Ha!

  4. LOL

    At a wedding, I noticed a woman wearing a sleeve for lymphoedema. I commented about it to the woman who does my lymphatic massage, who responded: “who would have thought that you could look at a woman’s arm and know what is under her bra!”

    Sometimes I think that only other cancer survivors can understand my warped sense of humor!

  5. route53 says:

    My wife is ahving a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in two weeks. She has always been selfconscious about her DD breasts on her tiny frame, but I have told her that nobdoy ever seems to notice until she talks about it or wears a bathing suit.

    My wife is happily going to take reconstruction at a smaller size and has learned that the only thing she has to be self-conscious about s herself. People who know you will know. People who observe you causally will say, You look different (and you can say you’ve had breast cancer). My wife and I are finding the craziest thing is people asking if she is going to get new boobs! Not even her own mother who had a bilateral mastectomy is daring enough to ask! We just say we don’t know and that it is something we’ll get to but first the cancer is our main issue.

    Erik H.

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