Who is affected by my cancer? Me, of course . . . my son, my husband, my mother, my two sisters, my brother, my sisters-in-law, my brothers-in-law, my nephews, my nieces, my cousins, my extended family, my local friends, my church family, my out-of-town friends, my co-workers, my family’s friends (they need people to support them), my friends’ friends, my therapist, my son’s teacher, my son’s friends, my online friends . . . . and probably many more . . . .Cancer affects not only the person who has cancer, but so many more people. It’s like a rock thrown into the water that causes many ripples out into a lake. The closest people to the rock (the person with cancer) are the most affected, then the next closest, then the next . . . . . and on and on and on.
When I was first diagnosed, it was so hard to tell people that I was close to, that I loved, that I had cancer. I felt apologetic because I didn’t want to hurt them, I didn’t want to cause them pain. I waited to tell some people because I just didn’t know how to form the words into sentences. I didn’t want to say the whole story. I tried to soft pedal things. I know it wasn’t fair of me to do that — it wasn’t fair to me and it wasn’t fair to them. The only thing I can say is that I was in my own type of fog, my own survival mode, and I was just getting through the days as well as I could, almost in a trance at times, just making it through a workday in some kind of haze. I didn’t know how to face the facts of my illness myself, let alone try to help others, those who care for me, face the facts of my illness. It was hard, a nightmare of sorts, every time I had to tell yet another person I cared about of my terrible disease. Ripples. There’s no way to stop the ripples once the stone is thrown into the water. We really are all affected, one way or another.
Just another reason to
Cross-posted to Just Enjoy Him.