Ups and Downs — Part II

(Cross posted from CoffeeandChemo)
My dear, wonderful, warm, caring, friends,
 
I love reading your insightful, and thoughtful comments.  It’s fun to see who is reading my blog, and who has what to say.  Comments make me smile!
 
(here it comes…..)
 
BUT, though I recognize that those of you who recommended therapy as a response to my previous post, did so because you love and care about me…..  YOU TOTALLY MISSED THE POINT of my post.
 
The post was about mood swings.  About the ups and downs of living with illness (in my case, cancer).
 
It is totally normal to have ups and downs.
 
I am not debating the benefits of therapy.
 
If I want/need therapy, I will get it.
 
I am surrounded by people (to begin with, my husband, and my oncologist) who will let me know if/when it is time to seek outside help.
 
I know therapy is available if I want it.
 
I appreciate all your comments and emails, I really do.
 
BUT, I really felt bombarded by so many suggestions that I go for therapy.
 
I am sure that I can benefit from therapy. 
 
I have LOTS of issues.  (I had most of them before I got cancer) 
 
BUT, my TIME is LIMITED.  I cannot do everything.
 
Right now, unless I need it, I don’t want to spend an hour a week in therapy, plus travel time. 
 
There are other things I would rather do with my time.
 
If I only wrote about how great I feel, and how great life is (and life is great), then this would not be an accurate portrayal of what it is like to live with cancer.  Because, friends, cancer SUCKS.  And, no matter how great my attitude is, cancer still sucks. 
 
And no amount of therapy is going to change that.
 
And no amount of therapy is going to make the cancer go away.
 
And that’s why, even with the best therapy in the whole wide world, I will still have mood swings.
 
Because, quite honestly, it is not easy living with cancer. 
(Even though I’m doing great, thank God, thanks to all of your prayers, and happy, healing thoughts)
 
I wish the cancer would just go away.
 
I really do.
 
But, I live in the real world.  And, for now, my cancer is a permanent, chronic, condition.
 
I can live with that.
 
For someone living with cancer, I am proud to say that I have a damn good attitude.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I have an exceptional attitude.
  
So, do me a favor.  If you think I need therapy, then, please, give me, or my husband, a call.  Tell us that you are worried, and why. 
 
If not, please don’t tell me I should go to therapy, just because sometimes I’m sad that I have cancer.
 
I am not depressed.  I am not in denial.
 
I have cancer.
 
Sometimes that makes me feel sad.
 
 
With love and optimism,
RivkA
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7 Responses to Ups and Downs — Part II

  1. bcjenster says:

    I understand perfectly. I’ve had people tell me I HAD to go to counseling because a person can’t go through something like cancer without therapy. I beg to differ. Counseling is a wonderful tool and I know so many people who have benefitted from it. But even with counseling a person goes through all the emotions. I’ve been through all the emotions several times, but I manage them quite well. This isn’t a pat on my own back. It’s just the way I’m wired. And, like you, I would have been into therapy in an instant if my “mood swings” never swung back.

    In the end you need to do what you and your family feels is best for you. And it seems to me you have all your priorities in order and are doing just that.

  2. cancervisa says:

    Big hug from a fellow chronic, never gonna go away cancer patient. You are a wise women, listen to your self!

  3. imstell says:

    Well said. Therapy can fix many things… but it cannot, to my knowledge, cure cancer. More’s the pity.

  4. lanezen says:

    I agree whole heartedly! My docs were asking me if I was depressed and wanted to give me an anti-depressant. I told them of course I was depressed — it was one of my best coping skills! 🙂 For those of us who have been through a cancer diagnosis, mood swings can seem like the only healthy and normal response sometimes!

  5. Thanks for the support!

    🙂

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