Worry,worry worry! I am always worried!

I am a worrier, plain and simple. Being a worrier does not go well with being a cancer survivor. With every little pang of pain or discomfort I am convinced that my cancer is back. For the last few days I have been on edge because I have had a little bit pain on my left side, my cancer side. Under my arm and under my implant. I go back and forth constantly, should I call my doctor? Or, am I crazy? It is difficult to know. I have never been so scared in my life (well that’s not true, I was more scared the day the doctor told me I had cancer).

My next appointment is December 11th. Do I wait? Go then? or go earlier? It has been three months since my last doctors appointment. Is it normal to still be uncomfortable after a mastectomy and reconstruction after nine months?

I guess the feeling never really goes away. At this time last year I was in pain and had not seen my doctor yet. I knew I had a lump and It hurt.  My surgeon said before I had my surgery “cancer doesn’t hurt” Mine did, I was in a lot of pain. A couple of people I have talked to have said the same thing. The pain was a good thing for me though. If I had not had it I would not have gone to the doctor in the first place.

But I still WORRY!………..


9 Responses to Worry,worry worry! I am always worried!

  1. I too am a worrier. Last year I had the same pains and made appointments with the plastic surgeon, oncologist and surgeon. They all said the same thing: the nerve endings are waking up and that is why you are feeling pain. Two years after surgery I still have pain somedays, especially if I overdue it. I have also heard that you can feel pain for years after. Sometimes it is good to hear it from the doctors – so if you feel better – make the appointment. I was also told the longer we are survivors the less we “worry” about the cancer coming back. I do better some days than others with that worry.

  2. imstell says:

    At two years out I still get those ridiculously painful “nerves reconnecting” pains. They worry me also. I always ask about them just to be safe. And I always get the same answers. I also get really freaked out about the very lumpy upper chest wall I now possess. I’ve been told it’s muscle striation because I never made the time to go to physical therapy after surgery. I always put my needs last some how…

    I would certainly ask about them for your peace of mind if nothing else. Whether or not to call & go in early? Why don’t you let your doctor make that decision. I know when I was struggling with the very same question – to call or wait for my next appointment – I realized that the only thing I was afraid of was appearing to be a hypochondriac, high maintenance or foolish. But I am not. And I am absolutely sure my doctor knows the difference. So I ultimately made the call.

  3. laurie says:

    Call your doctor. It sounds like it is probably just the nerves re-connecting – but wouldn’t it be good to be told that? What I do is call the nurse assigned to work with him, describe my symptoms. She talks to him and lets me know if he wants me to come in early. They never make me feel as though I am high maintenance.
    On the other hand, I too have developed the tendency to worry over every ache, headache, bout of dizziness and cramp…I usually wait a little bit before checking in with my doc but it does feel better to be reassured.

  4. Sarah S. says:

    Thanks ladies! I feel a bit better listening to your experiences. It is so wonderful having you here! 🙂 I will wait a few days and see how I feel. Then I will call.

  5. Vicky Squires says:

    I too had pain when I found my lump. I was also told the same thing cancer does not hurt. Guess what it was cancer!

  6. bcjenster says:

    I’ve never been a worrier. It takes too much energy. Even still, when something doens’t feel right I start to wonder. I’m three years out and so far it’s never been anything bad, but I always have such a profound sense of relief after I find out. Which I guess means I am a worrier and I just don’t realize it.

    Keep us posted.

  7. katbur says:

    Call your doctor. As a fellow worrier I know it will make you feel better and “cancer doesn’t hurt” is bullshit! It might not always hurt but mine did and yours did and it looks like another commenter’s did so apparently, sometimes it hurts. Good luck and call your doc in the morning.

  8. Liane says:

    It does hurt. I’d heard the same thing years before my diagnosis but I know the pain I felt was real. 2 1/2 years later I too worry about every little symptom – quietly and to myself so as not to alarm anyone else. Hopefully the worries really do get fewer as the years go by.

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