I am out of the hospital and home! I woke up to the sound of puking, but it was not from me but from my little princess. I think all the emotional separation has impacted her immensely. The day wore on with more throw up and soft bowel movements. I vow to call the doctor if it continues for more than 24 hours. Sure enough, last night at dinner the dinner table had a near miss.
Oddly enough I was glad to be home and purposely there to rock my sweet child to sleep, and attend to her feverish red cheeks. It totally distracted my own pain, that is now a constant reality for me.
In the hospital they want to know on a scale from o to 10 how much pain you are in. My answer now is 3 but in the lonely hospital with nothing else but myself to focus on was the same painful region an 8. Diversion is not a cure for me but definitely a good home grown remedy to cancer pain. You could say it was another form of negotiation, but not with the doctors, but within myself.
One other negotiation was that I allowed my child to use scissors real adult scissors for the first time. But not to cut an ordinary piece of paper, no much more significant. My Hospital Arm Band! It was a special occasion for both of us. Our little unforgettable moment. I have to make more unforgettable moments as soon as possible.