Waiting and Wondering

August 006

Today I had my four month oncology check up. The weeks leading up to my appointments is a very high anxiety time for me. There always is a nagging feeling in the back of a cancer survivors mind that someday their cancer will come back. So those few weeks are very stressful for me.

When I walked through the doors today I expected to sit for 10 minuets or so and get called into the exam room. After I was sitting for sometime, the nurse came out and said there had been a patient emergency and the doctor was running an hour late. Let me tell you it is hard enough sitting in the cancer center for 15 to 20 minutes much less an hour and 20 minutes! Luckily I had use of my handy dandy blackberry and had access to the internet. I also visited with a friend who is the cancer center’s new nurse navigator. She is a really great lady and she kept my mind off my wait for a while.

The time I spent waiting by myself I was surrounded by cancer patients. Suffering from all types of cancer. Woman in wigs, men in wheelchairs, people needing oxygen to breath. I always get some interesting looks in the waiting room, sometimes I can even hear people wispering “She is so young!” to the person sitting next to them with sympathy in their eyes. People do not often thing about young people having cancer.

My check up went very well. I am healthy and my doctor is encouraged at my progress. I have been fighting through some pain lately but it seems to be my nerves reconnecting. It is pain but it means that my body is still healing from my mastectomy and reconstruction and lymph node removal. I am looking forward to the time when I have no pain at all!

Cross posted on Spruce Hill


2 Responses to Waiting and Wondering

  1. Lyn says:

    So glad you had a good doc appt, though not a good wait time. I know what you mean about the ‘young’ comments, I get them almost every time including today’s chemo appt. I’ll pray you are pain free very soon!

  2. SciMom says:

    On my 3 month check up after finishing treatment, I sat in the oncologist’s room for an hour waiting for him to come in and tell me about the mammogram I had just had. That was the most excruciating hour I’ve ever spent. Words could never convey what the fear of recurrence feels like.

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