All the Best

Dear Friends,

I regreat that I will no longer be posting here.

Thank you for all your love and support.

If you would like to remain in touch, you are welcome to visit my personal blog:

http://coffeeandchemo.com

You are also welcome to email me privately at:

coffeeandchemo@gmail.com

May we all have a full recovery and enjoy good health for many years to come.

All my love,

RivkA

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51 Responses to All the Best

  1. Ariela says:

    This is probably the right place to tell the administrators of this blog that they should be ashamed of themselves for what they did to RivkA.
    I guesse it is OK to talk about cancer and get support, unless you are Jewish or Israeli.

    Sorry Laurie, but at the time RivkA was being blacklisted from posting a farewell post.

  2. Lynne says:

    Dear RivkA,
    I am shocked that MWC pulled your post on the Susan G. Komen Foundations’s enabling of the boycott against Israeli participants at the recent Middle East Breast Cancer Conference in Egypt. I suggest that every concerned reader go to your blog and read your entries for November 3 and 4 without censorship.

  3. whymommy says:

    RivkA was not being blacklisted from posting a farewell post. That is incorrect.

    I understand that several of RivkA’s readers are upset about what has happened. You should know that I am upset too. I valued RivkA’s friendship and her posts about mothering through cancer.

    This site, however, has to remain a welcoming place for all. A support site. A place to come and be vulnerable and support each other. A place to find out about resources for fighting cancer and its side effects, to talk about our children, and to figure out how to live our lives in a positive way despite this awful disease.

    I’m sorry, but this is not the place to accuse other cancer support organizations of anti-Semitism. While I encourage you to leave comments, please keep your comments (as always) on topic with the posted article and sensitive to the audience of this site, mothers with cancer.

  4. Laurie says:

    Rivka – I am so sorry that you felt that you had to make this decision. I will miss your voice. I am sure that many who come here will miss you as well.

    You haven’t heard from me directly for a bunch of reasons, chief among them is that my household was felled by H1N1 and then I had chemo.

    I will email you directly in a few minutes but I want to say for the record that I am greatly saddened by your departure.

    I have so much respect for you, Rivka but I also feel the need to say for the record that I do not support the assertion that blog administrators were motivated by anti-semitism. Nor could they have been motivated by economic factors (as has been asserted) since there is no funding for this blog – people just give of their time.

    I wish things could have resolved themselves differently.

    Laurie

  5. Michele says:

    RivkA, it is sad to see that the Mothers With Cancer administrator considered your comments on the Komen foundation political and unacceptable, while ignoring the politically-motivated Egyptian boycott of Israeli doctors. Would it be equally okay if the Komen foundation accepted the boycott of blacks and Muslims? It is no coincidence that Israel has one of the highest cancer survival rates in the world.

    Israel has some of the greatest cancer researchers in the world, but if Komen isn’t interested in hearing about and supporting their research, who are they really helping? Don’t breast cancer patients have a right to know that the foundation caved into anti-Semitism (not just anti-Israel sentiment, thought that is bad enough), instead of hearing the latest Israeli breast-cancer breakthroughs?

    Michele

  6. Ariela & Lynne – thanks for your support!

    Laurie – I am sorry too.

    I have found this blog to be a tremendous source of support. And I care for the women who post here.

    However, I cannot participate as a “second class citizen.” If others can post politics, while I may not, then I am not an equal member.

    I can be a part of an a-political blog. I can be a part of a politically diverse blog. But I will not be a part of a left-wing, “politically correct” blog. That is just not who I am.

    Honestly, I was deeply hurt. And I am deeply saddened.

    I thought we all respected each other’s differences. I thought we were a community, bound by what we share in common.

    For the record: I did not assert, nor do I believe, that the administrators were motivated by anti-Semisitm or economics.

    I am disappointed that they are not bothered by anti-Semitism, especially when it impedes our progress of finding a cure for breast cancer.

    And I am disappointed that they did not approach me before removing my post.

    I feel rejected by what I thought was my community, and by who I thought were my friends.

    But I am who I am.

    I believe in open discourse and freedom of speech.

    Let me say what I believe. You are free to tell me why you think I am wrong.

    If this blog only welcomes mothers who “tow the line,” then this is not the right place for me.

    I am an independent thinker. I want to be part of a community that truly appreciates different voices, that appreciates my voice.

    Michele – I agree 100%.

  7. Lurker says:

    Laurie — I certainly don’t think that Rivka was asserting that the “blog administrators were motivated by anti-semitism”.

    They were, however, motivated by politically-correct groupthink. And while that is certainly not antisemitism, it is a mode of behavior that tolerates antisemitism and excuses it. (In fact, the shameful behavior of the Komen foundation is a perfect illustration of this: While I would not go so far as to accuse Komen of antisemitism, they nevertheless saw no ethical problem stopping them from going ahead with a conference from which all Israelis were banned.)

    To paraphrase the aphorism attributed to Edmund Burke: All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men and women do nothing. And if doing nothing about injustice is harmful — then how much more harm is done by actively silencing those who do have the courage to speak out — people like Rivka.

    One may ask: Was Rivka’s message an appropriate one on a blog like this? Since the antisemitism underlying the Komen conference boycott constituted a (successful) attempt to squelch the invaluable contributions of people actively seeking a cure for breast cancer — the answer is most definitely a resounding yes.

    So no, the blog administrators — like the Komen foundation — were not motivated by antisemitism. But in doing what they did, they sided with those who suppress unpleasant truths, and who allow antisemitism to fester and grow unchecked — even at the cost of allowing cancer to do the same.

  8. e see says:

    I’m so sorry to see how “political correctness” has invaded our society, and the only views people can express are leftist ones. Israel has contributed so much to cancer reserch, and the cancer world is losing out because of their prejudice.

  9. i have been following this blog for a long time (years). i am shocked that rivkA was removed as a contributor because she expressed an opinion about the egyptian refusal to allow israelis attend the komen for the cure event in egypt. if rivkA had said that she agreed with it, would she still be a contributor on this blog?

    mothers with cancer needs to be mothers with cancer, and not mothers with cancer and bad attitudes….

  10. Jo says:

    Rivka- I’m sorry to see you leave before I even got to know you here but I do understand your feelings and reasons for leaving.

    I do look forward to continuing to read your blog and my thoughts are with you as you continue on your battle. Big hugz and much love.

  11. I am one of the 20 plus contributors to this blog… I have much I would like to say…but I have chose to be silent until now not because I feel pressured to do so… not because I am a Democrat, not because I am a Catholic… not because I am a Mother with Cancer, but because I choose to not sling mud back and forth. It seems like many commenting are calling the rest of MWC names… we have bad attitudes, we should be ashamed. Rivka, you have threatened this group many times that you were going to leave us… it is your decision… no one is forcing you… You are free to start up your own blog group that you are the administrator of… that you set up and monitor if you so choose. This whole thing troubles me greatly… but I went back to your blog today and read “send happy, healing thoughts” so that is what I am going to do … to Rivka and to any and all other Mothers with Cancer.

  12. Rahel says:

    I have been reading RivkA’s blog since she began it. Based on what I have read there, I think that this blog will be the poorer for lack of her voice… just as the cancer research conference in Egypt was undoubtedly a great deal poorer for the boycott against the Israeli researchers, who are extremely accomplished in their field and have so much to offer it.

    What a shame.

  13. e see – so true.

    Arnie & Rahel – thanks for your support.

    Jo – thanks. I look forward to getting to know you better! I’ve read your blog periodically as well. Btw, congrats on the 5 year anniversary!! The stats for BC mets are only slightly better — 20% after 5 years. I am 2 1/2 years and counting!

    Mary Beth – I do not believe in slinging mud and I have not called anyone names. But I agree that MWC should be ashamed for silencing my voice.

    I have NOT threatened this group “many times.” You are making a false accusation, something I have been very careful not to do.

    Only once before did I feel like maybe I did not belong here, and it was over THE SAME ISSUE.

    It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that if THE SAME ISSUE comes up, I would AGAIN feel like I do not belong!

    Before the last US elections, following a pro-Obama post on this blog, I wrote a pro-McCain post. My post was pulled and the other was not.

    Then, as now, I wrote that I cannot be part of a political blog whose politics I oppose. Either we all should be free to publish our opinions, or we should all refrain from publishing political posts on the group blog.

    At the time, everyone agreed, and, a week or so later, the pro-Obama post was pulled as well.

    This time, members of MWC vehemently advocated that we all should be free to publish our opinions. But when I published my opinion, I was punished for it.

    My status was changed from “author” to “contributor.” And I was informed that all my posts would have to be approved, from now on.

    In short, I was being censored. If I did not post the “correct” things, then my posts would not appear. Those posts would be banned.

    Perhaps I will take up your suggestion and start my own blog, where everyone’s thoughts are welcome.

    But that will not change the facts.

    I loved being a part of this blog. I was proud to be a part of this blog. This blog used to be my blog, our blog.

    Technically, it may have been my decision to leave.

    In reality, I was forced out.

  14. Lurker says:

    marybethvolpini: Rivka, you have threatened this group many times that you were going to leave us…

    Really? When? Where are all these “many times” that Rivka threatened to leave?

    it is your decision… no one is forcing you…

    Not true. It was not really her decision; it was the blog administrator’s. At the same time that her post on the Komen conference boycott was censored, her status on this blog was unceremoniously revoked in punishment for having written the post. Any future posts by Rivka are now required to pass through a screening process, to make sure that she only writes “correct” things. (For the full text of the statment she was sent by the blog administrator, see Rivka’s blog.) In fact, this very goodbye post was posted by Rivka on Monday, but only appeared here on Wednesday — because it took that long for the post to muster approval(!) [Perhaps you can manage to identify the offensive parts of this post that the blog administrators felt they had to deliberate over for two days…]

    So technically, yes, Rivka was offered the option of remaining — as a second-class citizen, with an official muzzle placed on her mouth. Given the humiliating, punitive status forced upon her, do you really believe that leaving was her decision, and that “no one is forcing” her? I certainly don’t, nor would any fair-minded person.

    You are free to start up your own blog group that you are the administrator of…

    Now that is an excellent idea. I hope Rivka takes your suggestion. If she does so, I have no doubt that her group blog will be a forum where all views and opionions will be welcome without censorship. I would certainly read it.

  15. Lurker says:

    Sorry, I was mistaken — I see now that this goodbye post only appeared on Thursday. I.e., it was held up in the “censorship committee” for not two, but three whole days

  16. Lynne says:

    Like all of us, I wear many hats.

    I am a librarian, so the issue of censorship is very important to me.

    I am a two-time cancer survivor, so the issue of medical conferences is very important to me.

    I did my doctoral work in the field of curriculum, so the issue of clear and precise communication is very important to me.

    I am an American, so the issue of freedom of speech is very important to me.

    For these reasons and more, I am heartsick at the actions taken by Mothers With Cancer — to pull a carefully researched and thoughtfully written post; to change the status of the writer; and to put in place a policy of approval/censorship in her case.

    No, it was not RivkA’s decision to leave. Who among us would feel comfortable staying under the same circumstances?

  17. David says:

    I have come to this site as the (ex) partner of one of your authors/contibutors (not sure of Jenni’s status – Jenni from “The Comfy Place”) and have been warmed and encouraged by the love and support both Jenni and I found amongst you all here. It saddens me greatly what has happened here over the last couple of weeks. I cannot say it more eloquently than Lynne has said it in the post above me. And I wonder why we have to let it get to this. Once again peoples differences seem to have been too great for the love and “acceptance” of peoples differences to bridge! Why?!!?! Many of you here are fighting the same battle, experiencing similar journeys, supporting each other through difficult, sometimes tragic times (and Jenni and I have been enormously appreciative of that love and support) so why can you not accept each others differences and look beyond them. RivkA, personally I was greatly touched by your comments re Jenni and I know she has been too. (She needs all the support she can get in her last few weeks/months). I feel you have been poorly treated here which is sad and will follow your lourney on your blog.

    I’m tempted to say that due to this whole mess my visits to this blog may be less frequent but that would detract from the quality of the mothers posting here as their stories and lives are worth following and supporting. I just hope that people learn from this and that the site can heal and grow from it. Love, support and sense of community is what you are all wanting so I pray it returns.

    Sorry to have so much to say when I’m not a mother but I am a concerned follower who is in the thick of cancer with Jenni.

    Best wishes to all.

    David.

  18. imstell says:

    RivkA et al-

    Please know that MWC is and will remain a portal to support mothers with cancer. We feel that ALL posts (whether political in nature or not) should remain about cancer and how it affects our lives.

    MWC is comprised of many different political and religious components. We don’t all agree on all issues or beliefs. Your post was not removed because we are in agreement or disagreement with your view. It was removed because we felt that the title of your post, “Some people hate Jews more than Cancer,” and the general tone was inflammatory, potentially divisive and libelous and generally inappropriate for the MWC site.

    Recommending your readers post negative comments on MWC posts is mean-spirited, highly inappropriate and only counter-acts our goal to help, support and provide pertinent information to mothers going through this difficult time.

    I sincerely hope you will reconsider your recommendation and are able to refocus your energy and intentions on healing yourself and helping others.

    Stella

  19. Lynne says:

    Dear Stella,
    RivkA did not recommend that her readers post negative comments. She titled her November 11 post “Let ‘Mothers With Cancer’ Know What You Think.” Please read it again. You will see that there is no recommendation, directive, or request to post positive OR negative comments — just to let MWC know what the reader thinks.

  20. Momma Mindy says:

    I found this website after I was diagnosed with my second round of thyroid cancer last year. I have been reading, although not commenting. I was very grieved to discover that RivkA was asked to not contribute anymore.

    As Moms with cancer, part of our hope is that cures would be found to keep future generations from suffering as we have. Those most susceptible in the next generation include our own beloved children. To discover one of the most popular breast cancer foundations, the Komen foundation, would do something that was not only racially inappropriate, but not in the best interest for cancer research, was deplorable. Add to the fact that money donated to them supports OTHER causes, such as Planned Parenthood, is even worse. However, too know that you can’t blow the whistle among your own kind and remain standing is the greatest tragedy. We should be able to dialogue over these things and decide to make the best decisions for our cancer. Cancer research is a big part of that atmosphere surrounding cancer.

    Yes, the title “Some people hate Jews more than Cancer” was a bold one, but unfortunately it is true, very true. When we drive to our appointments, it isn’t past barricades and armed guards with the scream of Hamas missiles in the distant background. I am sorry that MWC wouldn’t embrace HER world of cancer as you have embraced others. I am sorry you thought her factual, passionate post, was more “mean-spirited and inappropriate” than the deeds of the Komen foundation. Their prejudice could affect the outcome of our cancers. What if one of the Israeli doctors that were turned away held information concerning the cure of YOUR cancer…..or your children’s?

  21. marty says:

    I guess you should fire the blog administrator, or at least dock her pay.

    Oh wait. There is no pay.

    Really? “Some people hate Jews more than Cancer”?

    It doesn’t matter about the content of the article after that. It just matters that researched or not, Komen might not like what was said enough to do something about it. I sure wouldn’t put my volunteer ass on the line to allow a post with that title on my all volunteer blog.

    If you all aren’t sharing the legal ramifications of what is posted here, then it isn’t your blog. It’s just the blog administrator’s. And I’m thanking her for putting the time and effort into offering this space to those who need it.

  22. imstell says:

    Thank you, Marty.

  23. @momma mindy – well said. very well said.

    @marty – huh? there are NO legal ramifications on someone writing an opinion on a blog. none. there ARE political ones, as in maybe the komen folk would be angry at MWC for publishing it. not sure what MWC would care, but that is a possible backlash for sure.

    oh, and did you see my comment on the other page about ‘all about irony’? susan komen was jewish. and would have, no doubt, protested what the komen for the cure folks did in egpyt without israelis. no doubt.

  24. Laurie says:

    I was not part of the decision to pull Rivka’s post but I can assure you it was not based on political correctness or the fear of offending Komen. We get no funding from anwywhere. We are just a bunch of -very different – women who have cancer and write for a blog. As a non-incorporated entity we are vulnerable as individuals to legal action. And Rivka’s post did seem to imply that Komen, at a minimum, has been tolerant of anti-semitism.

    It does seem to me like Komen mismanaged the whole situation. Did they not see this coming? Why did they not act more swiftly in response?

    It must be pointed out though that Jews were not banned from the conference – Israel was. Egypt banned delegates from another country they did not ban all Jews. I am in no way praising what they did, just saying that this action deserves a different kind of response than would banning an entire people.

  25. Laurie says:

    And the other post was called “aware of the irony.” It was a post about how I am happy that I am not dead and yet sad that I will never leave chemo behind. It had nothing to do with any of this.

  26. Lurker says:

    imstell: Recommending your readers post negative comments on MWC posts is mean-spirited, highly inappropriate…

    Actually, Rivka recommended nothing of the sort. What she suggested was that people “let MWC know what you think”.

    Obviously, recommending that people express “what they think” is not at all the same thing as recommending that they “post negative comments”. To claim that they are, in fact, the same thing, would be to imply that the only reasonable reaction of a thinking person to MWC’s actions is to “post negative comments”.

    Which, according to your comment above, seems to be exactly what you are saying.

    I would also note that the automatic identification of the free expression of thought with “negativity”, “mean-spiritedness”, and “inappropriateness”, is entirely consistent with the policy of censorship that has unfortunately been adopted by the MWC administration.

  27. Lurker says:

    Laurie: And the other post was called “aware of the irony.” It was a post about how I am happy that I am not dead and yet sad that I will never leave chemo behind. It had nothing to do with any of this.

    Laurie — I can certainly understand your frustration over comments not relevant to your post appearing there. At the same time, it seems pretty clear to me that it happened because people who wished to express their thoughts found no place available place to do so (due to the censorship of Rivka’s post). But that was not your fault.

    I’m glad that the administrators at least decided to put up Rivka’s farewell post (albeit three days late), so that there was a more appropriate place for that discussion to move to.

    Regarding the actual subject of your post: As I have said several times to my wife — who also has metastatic cancer — when discussing with her all the problems and difficulties caused by chemo: “I hope that we will be able to go on dealing with these difficulties for a long, long time.” In the same spirit, I wish you many long years of health and the continued experience of that irony of which you wrote — or at least until a cure is found.

  28. Lurker says:

    Laurie: It must be pointed out though that Jews were not banned from the conference – Israel was. Egypt banned delegates from another country they did not ban all Jews. I am in no way praising what they did, just saying that this action deserves a different kind of response than would banning an entire people.

    Dr. Martin Luther King would have disagreed with you:

    “When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews: You are talking anti-Semitism.”
    — Martin Luther King, Jr., addressing himself to an anti-Zionist student
    Harvard University, 1968

  29. Stella says:

    OMG! You people need to get a life! You can’t even see reason through you wacked out logic! Of course I expected the comments to be negative – they’d be coming from Rivka’s blog wouldn’t they? I would assume you’d all be just as “tone deaf” as she is!

  30. Laurie says:

    Lurker,

    I really appreciate the sentiments in your first comment. I know exactly what you mean – I wish for all of us that we are dealing with life’s problems for a long time. And may a cure be found soon.

    As for your second comment, I strongly disagree that criticism of Israel is inherently anti-semitic or even anti-Zionist. And I know that there are members of the Israeli peace movement among others who would agree with me.

    I am married to a Jewish man and I’m close to his family. I have thought and talked about this a great deal and I don’t make this statement lightly.

    All the best to you and especially to your wife.

  31. Lurker & Lynne — thanks. I couldn’t have said it better.

    David — I so appreciate your support and your taking the time to comment. I know there is a lot on your plate right now. My thoughts are constantly with Jenni.

    Stella — You have wrongly accused me of three things:

    1. Libel is “a false publication…“. What I wrote is TRUE and verifiable!

    2. I NEVER recommended that my “readers post negative comments on MWC posts.”

    3. To call me “mean-spirited” is to hurl insults, something I have been careful not to do. Shame on you.

    My post was about cancer — about the effect of anti-Semitism on breast cancer research.

    The title of the post was accurate. Some people do hate Jews even more than they hate cancer

    But, you know what? It is the content of that post that is important to me, not the title.

    If I change the title to something less “inflammatory,” will you allow the post?

    If so, I will gladly change the title.

    I stand behind the content of the post. I am not going to white-wash the event. Read the post again (here), it is a powerful condemnation of offensive behavior that affects all cancer patients, worldwide!

    Are you implying that when people learn how MWC censored my post, they will think, and reply, negatively? If so, shouldn’t you be asking yourself what MWC did wrong?

    If MWC’s goal is truly to “provide pertinent information to mothers,” then you should not have pulled the post.

    But MWC will only provide information that *you* think is pertinent. If you do not care about it, you prevent others from knowing about it.

    Be honest. You do NOT believe that “ALL posts… should remain….”

    Lynne — thanks. you said it better than I.

    Momma Mindy — you ask powerful questions. Thank you. One correction: to be accurate, I was not “asked to not contribute anymore.” My post was pulled and my status as an author removed. Technically, I could have stayed and had all my posts censored. It would be more accurate to say that I was “compelled to leave.”

    Marty — I sure hope Komen does something about it!!

    They cannot sue me for the truth. They can only try to rectify their mistake!

    That is the power of journalism — to expose injustice and force people, and organizations, to be resonsible for their actions!

    Laurie — I respectfully disagree. The decision is completely based on political correctness. THERE IS NO THREAT OF LEGAL ACTION!

    Komen was “tolerant of anti-Semitism.”

    If you would like answers to your questions, follow my blog. I am still confirming a few facts. When I have verified all my information, I will post more about just how badly Komen “mismanaged” the situation.

    Since no one will be censoring me, I will tell it like it is.

    One more important point:
    Egypt did just not ban “delegates from another country.” They banned delegates from Israel, because Israel is a JEWISH country.

    Egypt banned Israelis because they were Jews.

    Simply put, Egypt banned Jews.

    Anti-Semitism is evil and should never be excused.

    ——————————
    Laurie — Regarding your second comment: I am so happy you are alive and feeling healthy! I totally get the irony of it.
    ——————————

    Lurker — well said.

    I especially appreciate the quote from Dr. Martin Luther King. He said it like it is:

    “When people criticize [Israel], they mean Jews: You are talking anti-Semitism.”

  32. Stella says:

    Rivka – I am not ashamed but you should be.
    1. I never accused you of libel. I said MWC had concerns your comments toward Susan G Komen could be considered libelous.
    2. “Go tell MWC what you think.” may not be as blatant as “post negative comments” but your intent was the same as you are well aware.
    3. Your actions were called mean-spirited not you.

    Susan and I were not happy with the situation we found MWC in. She did not want to remove your post. She did what she thought was the best thing for the other bloggers on MWC – with my blessing.

    I expected you to be offended. I did not expect that you would imply that we are condoning anti-Semitism, possibly anti-Semites ourselves. You know this not to be true. Yet you put it out there anyway.

    Just because someone disagrees with a Jew they are not an anti-Semite. I do not and will not be bullied into feeling ashamed because you throw the term Anti-Semitism my way.

    If anyone’s actions through this incident have been shameful, they are yours, Rivka.

  33. Stella — you are making a false assumption. Most of the comments here are from readers of THIS blog. Though I certainly hope they will join the readers of my blog.

    You can choose to disregard them, as you do me.

    Maybe you want to delete their comments. That will make it easier to pretend their opinions do not exist.

    After all, since they are all “tone deaf” like me, their opinions are irrelevant.

  34. Lurker says:

    Stella: I expected you to be offended. I did not expect that you would imply that we are condoning anti-Semitism, possibly anti-Semites ourselves. You know this not to be true. Yet you put it out there anyway.
    Just because someone disagrees with a Jew they are not an anti-Semite. I do not and will not be bullied into feeling ashamed because you throw the term Anti-Semitism my way.

    Rivka never said or implied — here, or on her own blog — that you (MWC) are antisemites.

    Your claim that she did so is nothing less than a shameless, baldfaced lie.

    I challenge you right now to show us where she wrote any such thing.

    The fact that you felt compelled to fabricate such a strawman argument is a very obvious indication of just how devoid of substance and completely indefensible your own position is.

    In defending your decision to exercise cersorship, you made the (false) claim that Rivka’s original post about the Komen conference boycott was “libelous”. It is thus extremely ironic that you are now resorting to outright libel yourself.

    If you cannot show us where Rivka wrote that you or anybody else at MWC are antisemitic, you should immediately retract your statement and apologize to her.

  35. Ariela says:

    Stella and Laurie
    I have known RivkA in real life for over 20 years and she does not have a “mean-spirited” bone in her body.
    She is the most honest and forthright person I know.
    You can draw your own conclusions about your behavior.

  36. Stella — You FALSELY ACCUSE me AGAIN!

    1. AGAIN — my post CANNOT be libelous because it is TRUE. You keep ignoring this significant fact.

    2. How dare you presume to know or understand my intent? I do not presume to know or understand your intent, and I do not hurl accusations at you. Please treat me with the same respect.

    3. My actions were NOT “mean-spirited.” My actions came from a place of pain and hurt.

    YOU hurt me and continue to hurt me by slandering my name and falsely accusing me.

    YOU chose not to contact me about my post, before taking action.

    YOU chose not to verify the facts.

    YOU chose to pull my post.

    YOU chose to change my status and to censor future posts.

    You do not relate to any of the issues I raised, rather you continuously attack me on a personal level, about things I never said!

    4. I NEVER implied that you, or MWC, are condoning anit-Semitism, nor that you, or MWC, are anti-Semites.

    It does bother me that not only do you not care about how anti-Semitism is affecting research for the cure, but you prevented others from knowing as well.

    I am saddened that anti-Semitism is not worth your attention. I wonder if you would be so complacent about racism.

    But I can only examine the facts, I cannot know what is inside your head or anyone else’s.

    I have been exceedingly careful not to make any accusations or hurl any personal insults.

    Yet you, who censored me, continue to falsely accuse me of all sorts of mean and nasty things. Your moral high ground is a little shaky.

    I put out the truth, both in my original post and in my post criticizing MWC for censoring me.

    I stand by the truth.

  37. PP says:

    Stella,

    First-time commenter, but I’ve been following this thread and feel the need to write. You and Rivka are both clearly very upset, but there is no reason for it to degenerate into personal mudslinging.

    I agree with you 1000% that the title of Rivka’s original post would have seemed inflammatory on a blog devoted to mothering and cancer, and I appreciate why it might have seemed inappropriate for the MWC from your point of view. Having said that, if your blog allows the publishing of strong political pieces from other angles, it makes sense that Rivka would feel she was being unfairly censored.

    While I too am Jewish/Israeli, mine and Rivka’s political views could not be further apart. I too baulked at the original title of her post, but I read on. While it was clear to me (from the perspective of someone who has worked extensively in the Israeli and Palestinian women’s movements) why a Komen conference held in Egypt would very likely not be, shall we say, the most hospitable realm for Israeli physicians, (being as it was likely to be geared at mobilising awareness and activism throughout Arab countries in the Middle East) despite the title of Rivka’s post, I didn’t think she was accusing Komen of anti-Semitism. Rather, she was despairing of the sad situation which our region finds itself in today, where an international cancer conference, held in a country wherein Israel has in fact signed a peace treaty, nevertheless sought to bar Israeli participants due to political pressures. And she was despairing of the fact that Komen chose to comply with this situation, and (as per her evidence) appeared to lie about it. Such a sorry state of affairs objectively should be completely unthinkable, as cancer knows no geographical/political boundaries. And on the MWC blog, one which encourages a diverse authorship of mothers with cancer (a far stronger uniting cause than any political leaning, IMHO), it is understandable to me why she might feel disappointed that her post expressing pain and frustration on this issue was pulled, as opposed to her being asked simply to moderate it slightly to make it less potentially inflammatory.

    It is very clear to me that MWC is not behaving in an anti-Semitic manner, and that neither was Komen. I also didn’t notice Rivka making any such accusations, not in her post and not in her comments. The “Some People” whom she alluded to in the title of her post were very clearly those who piled on the political pressures and as such didn’t take the opportunity to work together in a regional initiative to cure cancer, and thus prevented both important joint medical steps AND potential Jewish-Arab coexistence. That, (I presume in all of our opinions) is very sad, and to my mind, would have been an issue definitely worth the attention of the politically savvy and intelligent MWC readership.

    But I think it is equally sad that Rivka is now feeling personally unwelcome on MWC as a result of the (understandable) emotions flying high. I sincerely hope that you can all work through this to find a solution and that MWC doesn’t lose her – or anyone else’s- voice. My best to you all.

  38. PP — Perhaps because our views are generally at opposite ends of the spectrum, I am so appreciative of your comment.

    Your analysis is right on target.

    You accurately identify which issues are significant and why.

    One point that I want to emphasize: you note that I was not approached personally before my post was pulled and my status reduced to one where all my future posts would be subject to censorship.

    No one contacted me before these actions were executed.

    I followed the guidelines set forth by blog administrators, and yet was penalized for posting my opinion.

    There was no “inquiry,” there was no exploration of the facts, I had no opportunity to defend my position. I was tried and sentenced, without a hearing.

    It is very sad.

  39. Laurie says:

    All of this is very sad and I don’t see at this point how we can fix it or resolve anything.

    I think that people are feeling very hurt and reacting with an intensity that might be mitigated under different circumstances, As I so often do, I wish we could all talk this through face to face.

  40. Lynne says:

    I have received Nancy Brinker’s lastest statement, which says that a Race for the Cure in Jerusalem is planned for 2010.

  41. Stella says:

    Rivka – You are absolutely correct. We should have contacted you prior to removing your post. On behalf of MWC, I apologize for that. The fact remains that we did not feel your post was appropriate for this site. It was NOT politically motivated.

    The words I have written here have been true to my feelings and perceptions just as I am sure yours have been. I suggested to you once that we agree to disagree and leave it at that. You do yourself and MWC a disservice to do otherwise.

  42. Stella — I appreciate your apology.

    Perhaps if MWC had responded with respect from the beginning, this story would have had a different ending.

    Of course removing the post was “politically motivated.” As I have demonstrated above, there is no other reason. (Oh, by the way, I also checked with lawyers, who confirmed those facts)

    I am glad that you are going to let this issue go.

    I am sure that what you have written has been true to your feelings, but you have wrongly accused me of many things. Just because you *feel* like I said something, does not mean I actually said it.

    It is important to read things carefully, to avoid misunderstandings.

    The disservice done to the MWC blog is that readers will no longer benefit from my voice, and, by silencing me, you have most likely silenced and alienated others.

    I wish you, and all the other mothers with cancer, good health and happiness.

  43. Andrea says:

    Why can’t I click straight through to RivkA’s website, through her post here, and then bookmark it? Any clickable link on this website goes through but the url address in my location box is still labeled as http://motherswithcancer.com I wish you would fix that. Sometimes I come to this website & feel “trapped” because I can’t get out of having your url in my location box.

  44. imstell says:

    Andrea – Which link are you clicking on? If you go to the box titled “Mothers with Cancer” on the sidebar to the right you will find the links to our individual blogs. Any other link on the site will take you either to a post or comment made by that blogger.

  45. whymommy says:

    Andrea,

    It appears that you are accessing the site from the domain name, http://motherswithcancer.com, and not the URL where the site is hosted, https://motherswithcancer.wordpress.com. If you use the second URL, you will see the individual post or page URL in the navigation bar.

  46. Andrea says:

    Thank you for your help. What I’m doing is going to http://motherswithcancer.com … and whenever I click on a link within a blog post (such as RevkA’s link within her blog post, leading people to her blog itself), the link will indeed take me to RevkA’s website… but in the url address window up on top of my screen (where you would manually type in a url you would want to visit), it still says http://motherswithcancer.com Therefore, I cannot bookmark the link I am reading because the bookmark will be incorrect… it still will bookmark this site here. I’m pretty internet savvy so I’m sure it’s a part of the html the webmaster(s) here have set up… but it’s a little aggravating to not be able to go directly to a website linked in a blog post… and have the linked website url appear correctly in the url address window. That’s the best I can explain it. Sorry I’m unable to make myself more clear. Peace.

  47. Kathleen says:

    It’s very difficult to take you seriously, Stella, when you keep insisting that politics had nothing to do with it. Nearly as difficult as when you feign ignorance of how what happened has to do with motherhood and cancer.

  48. Laurie says:

    That’s enough! Disagreement is one thing. But I am sickened by the personal tone of some of these comments. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by personal attacks – except to cause pain to someone else.

  49. I must agree with Laurie. Please feel free to criticize ideas or comments, but not to make personal attacks.

    I know that the personal attacks on me (made in many of the above comments) were hurtful and inaccurate.

    We can only know what is in our own hearts. We cannot know what is in someone else’s heart.

  50. RivkA says:

    Just came back to thank Mary Beth for the suggestion.

    I have started my own group blog, for women/mothers living with cancer.

    All women facing cancer are welcome to join, but the blog will focus primarily on women who have advanced breast cancer — i.e. we will be living with cancer for the rest of our lives or until there is a cure.

    Anyone interested in joining, should contact me at:
    coffeeandchemo@gmail.com

    Anyone interested in reading the blog should visit us at:
    http://motherslivingwithcancer.blogspot.com/

    Hope to be up and running in a week or two!

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