I posted on New Year’s Eve that they found a lump in my chest, and my worries associated with it. Well I did end up having surgery last week – another surgery, I am sincerely sick of being cut- and I’m relieved to share that it was benign. It was just fibrous tissue growing. They didn’t think it was cancer going in but had to check. I was relieved, but only slightly. I am resigning myself to the fact that this is my life now. I am now in the elite group that gets to say things like ‘oh this is just a little surgery’. That’s what my oncologist said the week before when I expressed anxiety over it. I suppose compared to the double mastectomy and hysterectomy I had, yes, it was just a little surgery. I thought I would be happier when the surgeon called to tell me the good news, that it was not cancer brewing its ugly head again. I was happy, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was just lucky to get a pass. I couldn’t help but feel like, I’m Ok – for now. I promise I’m not negative about my situation at all, I do feel very lucky most of the time. I guess I’m only sharing my fears, how I really feel about it. My 1 year diagnosis anniversary is in April, maybe as time goes on I will not feel as on guard as I do. But – for now- I appear to be cancer free, and that is indeed something to celebrate.