The kids

I worry about my kids.  I worry a LOT about my kids.  How are they making it through this crazy time?  How do they deal with hearing my name listed among the sick that we pray for at church every Sunday?  How do they feel when they hear me say, “No, honey, Mama can’t” wrestle or swordfight or take them for a walk? 

Are they ok?

Are they going to be ok when they’re teenagers, or all grown up?  Will this time be a defining moment for them, something to point to in future therapy sessions?  Will they be ok?

But yesterday, my oldest brought home a drawing from school that made my heart sing.  They drew pictures of snow globes, and, out of anything in the world, he chose to draw himself playing with two friends.  He drew friends.

He didn’t draw the dark scary place that I was in.  He drew the happy, kid place that he was in.

And he’s going to be ok.

Today, he came home with simple homework:  write three words that describe who you are.  We waited to hear what words he’d choose, and, after his bath tonight, he told us:

Happy.  Nice.  and then he asked his Dad what word he’d use to describe him, curious what he would say.  Dad said, “curious.”  Widget smiled, and there the words were, all out in the open.  WhyMommy’s oldest boy had fulfilled her deepest hopes, all at the age of 6.  He is happy.  He is nice to others and his friends.  And he does ask “Why, Mommy?” just like I dreamed, well before he could talk.  They’re still the sweetest words, next to the last ones I hear every night, as I turn off his light and kiss his forehead as he goes to sleep:

“I love you too, Mommy.”

Originally posted at Toddler Planet, February 9, 2011

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2 Responses to The kids

  1. Tracey says:

    …Colie,

    You r such an awesome person!..I love how u r such an amazing momma!..Don’t over worry about your wonderful kids!..they have 2 great parents..AND..showing them your vulnerable side is really a good thing!
    Love always!!
    And your kids will always not only be stronger because of what u allow them to feel..but will love and respect you for it too:)..miss you!<3

  2. John Meyer says:

    Hello, my sister Ellen was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer when her two children were very young. She wrote a story *Mommy’s Cancer* to help her young children, Lirit and Bennett, better understand and talk about what it’s like to be “a kid whose mommy has cancer.” It reflects her abiding love for them.

    It was Ellen’s hope that other children who love someone with cancer or another life-threatening disease might enjoy and learn from this story. You can find it at http://www.mommyscancer.org. I was hoping to post this on the page titled “For Kids” on this website, but could not find a way to post a comment there…

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