Q. Why just mothers with cancer? Why not all people?

A. There are many sites and established organizations for people with many types of cancer. Even the rarest cancers have email support lists and a web page somewhere. What those pages don’t have, however, is support for the special challenges that a mother with cancer experiences. Suddenly, the life of a mom is turned upside down; a life perhaps centered on others must become a life centered on fighting cancer. There’s a lot to process all at once, and no time to process it. The children must still be fed. They must be napped, and read to sleep at night. Their regular schedules, whether the long cozy days of infancy or the hectic teenage years, don’t stop just because mom has cancer. There is much to do, and it’s hard to fit chemo and radiation and research in around the edges. Suddenly, cancer has to take center stage in a life that may already be crowded with responsibilities and care for other people. And then there are the conversations that must take place. Have you ever had to tell a little boy that his momma has cancer? How about a little girl that mommy can’t play today, because mommy is throwing up? And what of the infant who cries for his mother when she is away, or the teenager who wonders if the same thing will happen to her? These are questions that our society doesn’t yet have good answers to, but all the mothers on this site have had to face as they begin (or start again) their cancer journey. We hope to learn from each other, and to light the way for mothers with cancer who follow. We’re so glad you’re here, always letting us know that you haven’t forgotten us in our illness. We’re still the same friends we ever were, just learning to balance one new responsibility: fighting cancer.

13 Responses to FAQ

  1. Kate says:

    This is wonderful! I wish I had known about this group when I was going through treatment! Or maybe you didn’t exist then? Anyway, thank you thank you thank you! I can’t wait to read more! Katie

  2. Darryle says:

    i cried reading your words, and wish I had something like this blog when I was going through my own cancer journey and felt so alone. I am fortunate to still be alive and healthy 13 years later, although much of my life since cancer stems from the after-effects—including becoming an artist.
    I wish I could reach out across the internet to all of you going through this now. My cancer journey was a nightmare, and yet today, I feel so much of what I’ve learned about myself and my children and life came through cancer.
    This is what I try to give to other people, with or without cancer, through my own blog, “I Never Signed Up For This”—words I am sure many of you would say right now.
    At the time I was rarely able to take the long view, or see anything positive. I remember what gave me the most hope was seeing other mothers at the other end–which is what I can offer to you now. Even though I never forget–every single day–as I am lucky to experience milestones in the lives of my children I never expected to see. (See my blog on Huffington Post regarding Bargain Shopping as an example)

    As a separate note to whoever runs this blog, I would be happy to offer any help I could to anyone and feel free to email me. My story was documented in MORE magazine, including a cancer vaccine which I believe helped save my life and which is no longer available but I am working to get re-established. Feel free to contact me about that too.
    You are all in my heart.
    Darryle Pollack

  3. Anna says:

    I write from Italy, and since I’ve discovered I had cancer I have been desperately looking for someone to share the experience with. I am comparetevely young for IBC – 34, when I discovered it – and during my treatment so far, it’s 14 months now, i’ve only been sorrounded by old people. that is somehow good for obvious reasons, i wouldn’t want other young mothers sharing this with me. But of course I need sharing my new life, this journey, with those who are running along the same road. interesting, painful, and sometimes solitary road, solitary becuse so crowded with cares for those little ones who depend on us. I am extremely relieved to have found you (nothing like this exists in Italy). You’ve helped me realise that I am ok, that thoughts like mine, experiences like mine are “normal” in our case. thanks to you I don’t need to feel i am morbid when i think of death and the future of my family without me, or selfish when I am so tired i do not even want to have to take care of my little ladies (2 and 4, now). and in the midst of all my life, this place is good. it feels good. and I thank you and send you my love, all the way accross the ocean

  4. The writing on the blog is much needed … its poignant, heartfelt, humorous at times, educational, and real! Mothers With Cancer – you have done outstanding work for a often overlooked niche … moms! Please continue the great writing. The twenty (or so) moms who participate on the blog are truly inspirational heroes. I know because my mom is a Stage IV HER-2 positive breast cancer survivor and she is my hero too! Godspeed to the moms with cancer and their families.

    Best Regards,

    Paul Cacciatore, Founder, Libby’s H*O*P*E* (*Helping *Ovarian Cancer Survivors *Persevere Through *Education)(http://healthinfoispower.wordpress.com).

  5. Pam Devendorf says:

    How do I sign up.

    I was diagnosed on Nov. 16th and I have 2 kids and 18 year old son and a 14 year old daughter.


  6. Pawpaw says:

    I empathise with you. My mum had cancer too.

    Your throwing up is not due to cancer. It’s due to the chemotherapy. Cutting, burning are the usual ‘treatments’ for cancer.

    Cancer vaccines do not guarantee you are covered a lifetime either. Even children are breaking out with measles or mumps years after vaccines. And yet they are not labeled as quackery.

    It is depressing because the cancer industry will never admit a cure – ewen if there is one. Keeping cancer patients returning for more screenings and for more radiation is lucrative.

  7. Esther medioni says:

    Can i find this book traduce to french,i wish to read it.thks esther.

  8. AnnieCosby says:

    how do you submit guest essays?! what a wonderful group i wish my family had known about several years ago

  9. Lelia Sim says:

    This is a wonderful group. I’m 53 and have stage 2 triple negative BC, finished my last chemo on 1 Feb 2013. My petscan on 26 March showed that i’m now all clear. I’ve been advised by my oncologist to go on Zometa but I’m hesitating becos of what I’ve read on its side effects and also current studies on it’s effectiveness. Does anyone have any advice or any experience with Zometa to share? Would really appreciate that

  10. Julie L.Kaye says:

    Hi Moms,

    I also wish knew about you 3 yrs. ago when I was a single mom going through breast cancer. Meanwhile I have just written a book that I would like you to review and hopefully add to your book list ” “35 BEST WAYS TO SAVE MONEY WHEN YOU HAVE CANCER.”
    It will on Kindle starting this weekend and Amazon and KOBO Books by next week. I will email a copy to you for review if someone tells me where to send it. I have it in .mobi & .epub. Just let me know which you prefer.

  11. michele williams says:

    New here. 46 yo with breast CA, and BRCA2 positive, ER+ and PR+. chemo first then surgery. I used to be an oncology nurse years ago. Mom to 2 special needs kiddos. Wow, thought I was overwhelmed before. Getting weekly Taxol x8 weeks after having a mild allergic reaction to AC. Lots of low back pain, numbness and tingling…and hot flashes….oh those hot flashes. In those moments, I welcome being bald!
    Now looking into surgery options. Will be doing double with recon most likely, and a hysterectomy as well. Feeling sketchy about thought of hormones.

  12. Nara says:

    Hello Ladies.
    Please reply with any info you have….
    I’m 34… BC STAGE 1
    I had a surgery then 4 AC FOLLOWED BY 12Taxols. Just finished with chemo, in 3 weeks starting radiation for 5 weeks.

    Is it possible to get pregnant after all these treatments? Anyone has anything to tell me? Thank u so much

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